What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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Gale swallows.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

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Emo Girl: Whats Your Favorite song? Regulor Girl: Something Carrie Underwood sing!(: Emo Girl: Are you retarted? Regulor Girl: Well im not the one who loves Emos .-. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honstley, I didnt right this my cousin told me to wriget this... i think its stupied... And Yes, Ima Emo but im not trying to judge people if there emo or not! :D Luv ya! -Angel- <3

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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