What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Why did the little boy throw a clock out of the window? Because he wanted to break it.

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how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

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Q Whats Yellow, Has a body, And has a Spiky head ? A a pineapple

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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Who loves George Clooney? George Clooney

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

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I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped six's mom.

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Where do babies come from? My sex dungeon

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69!!! (its funny cause i made a referance to 69)

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

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A black man is pulled over doing 66 in a 65 zone. He asks the officer what the problem is and the officer says his left tail light is out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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