my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

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Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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Why was Little Bobby sad? He just superglued Uranus to his forehead.

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

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Do you want to hear a joke? No. Women's- oh, okay.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Who Who who? Who who who Who who who who? Who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who…

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

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Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

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Diarrhea

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Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

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Whiney the poo and the blustery day.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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What do you call 100 Americans at the bottom of the ocean? A US submarine crew.

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"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

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AND THE GAME BEGINS ANEW!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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