Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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What's red and invisible? We don't know that it's red.

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What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

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two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

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What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

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What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

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dylan hodge wishes he could suck his own **** jokes thats what his mothers for

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

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Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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Why is a chicken coupe, a coupe not a sedan? Because a sedan would have four doors.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What do you call a person who kills a black? A black man

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Why was the black guy convicted of a crime he didnt commit? Because in The American social syste

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A black man comes home from work.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

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Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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