I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

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I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

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There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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why was the movie rated PG 13? mild violence and sexual content

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Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

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Yo momma's so fat, she's broke 'cause she spent too much money on food.

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What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

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What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

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Someone stopped playing Skyrim.

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knock knock whos there? nobody

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True or False : it would not cause a public disturbence to express your P0rnagraphy to the public??? true. P0rnagraphy is the freedom of speech and ability to express oneself

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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What happens when you hit a black guy with your car? He is seriously injured.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

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Have you seen Helen Keller's house? Well, It's an old style ranch home in a respectable neighborhood.

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What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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