Leave. Now.

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Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

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I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

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Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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69

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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Q: Why didn't the man give money to the homeless person on the sidewalk? A: Because he thought that he was faking it. Two days later the homeless person died in an alleyway from starvation. Nobody was there to witness it, and the body was never found.

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There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

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What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing, shit went down so bad.

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

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Why was Jerry Sanduski at K-Mart? He heard boys pants were half off!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

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What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

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Two black guys jump off a bridge..who lands first? They would land at the same time due to earths gravity acting on them both with an equal force.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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