Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

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politically correct!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

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A black man walks into a bar The bartender tells him they don't serves blacks The black mans calls the Police and the bartender is arrested for Discrimination

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You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

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what does dana do in her free time? make love with jarrett

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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roses are red violets are blue my dick hurts blue waffles

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Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

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What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

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Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

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An American, Mexican, and Chinese men are each asked to throw something off a cliff that they have too much of. The Chinese threw off rice. The Mexican threw off tacos. And the Americans.. Well.. They threw off the Mexicans.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

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What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

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When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

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Tilt your screen back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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