What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

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Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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Think of a number between 0 and 2 That's how many times you're going to die in this life

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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Rose are red, I dont give a shit. When I think of you, I play with my clit. :)

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Sally." "Go away, Sally. I told you I am not interested." Kevin slammed the door on his colleague, as Sally proceeded to find somebody else and move on with her life. Kevin later in life became a drug addict, and got thrown in jail. Sally got married and had four kids, and while she feels bad for Kevin, she is happy with her life.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Brittany Spears is pregnant

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"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

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THE GAME

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

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What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

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An Asian man fails a math test

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What is the difference between a white man and black man who are facing each other? They have different rights.

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops