A man makes a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Hunter cross the road? No one cares, unless he gets hit.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the black kid get for christmas? I dont know....whatever he wrote on his wishlist.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Rabbi walks into a bar. He payed for his drinks, tipped the bar tender, drank a few too many so he got a cab home.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the trucker say when his hat blew out the window? "**** my hat!" What did the teenager say when the same thing happened to him in his small car? The same thing, except he was a teenager, driving a small car.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops