A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did the agnostic say when he turned blue? He said "wow why am I blue?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he’d rather be road kill, than be in the KFC right across the street,inside a kids meal,dead.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

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FOOL TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

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Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

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Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

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? The person who made that "joke" down there has no life ?

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What does a blonde say when she being raped? Ow it hurts stop... What does the guys who's raping her say? Oh shut up you know you like it...

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~Chinese Anti Joke~ What is the difference between American army and Chinese army? American army teach youngsters to use their tanks. Chinese army smash youngsters with their tanks.

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How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

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A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

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Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

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THE END.

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knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

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8=> >->-o

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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