a little violence in a relationship doesn't hurt anybody

Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

Why was Sally lying on the ground? Cause she was dead

Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

How are Lamborghinis and piles of dead babies alike? I don't have either in my garage. Except for the pile of dead babies.

What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

Women's Rights Movement

why are black people so fast? because there black

What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

A mexican pedophile stalks a child home. He molests him.

roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a penis

What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

Why was the woman blind? Because she couldn't see

How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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