What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

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Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? She had no purpose.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Because he was bringing food to support his wife and 3 kids whom were very hungry and needed it to survive.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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What did the man say while he was in surgery? Nothing, he was in surgery.

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Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's house? Well, It's an old style ranch home in a respectable neighborhood.

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Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

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A horse, an apple, a leprechaun and a black man walk into a bar. They sit down and order drinks. The bartender looks at them and say "what is this, a joke?"

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

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How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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What is white and black and red all over.

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Woman rights.

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

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What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops