Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A ginger kid and his 5 friends walk into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the man say when his wife said hello? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops