A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

prison isnt fun it also is bland kidnapping is a crime but get in the van

Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

How do you kill a blonde girl? You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a filled pool.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

Jesse gets so many ladies

Hum... I am actually a redhead... Which is so strange saying to anyone including myself, I dye it like constantly.

my dick is like a bridge. i dont know why.

Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

To mamma so fat..............nuff said

What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

What's white, warm, and dangerous? Cum.

What's worse than bombs? Nukes

What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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