A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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what did one swedish guy say to another swedish guy? I dont speak russian

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What's the difference between cat and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other is a watermelon.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

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Win industrial estate, Newry

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Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

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Why did the Mexican jump the border? Because his mom told him the grass was always greener on the other side... She lied.

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor and the doctor said "There is no cure for the monkeys in your head"

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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Q: What Would Canada Be With out Nature A: Peru

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A white man, a black man, and a woman are drinking in the local pub. The black man and the woman are hanged. Medieval European pubs did not permit either.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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Q. What do you get when you cross the North Korean border and an American? A. Death.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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