Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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there was once a jew

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

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What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

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Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

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What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

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Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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Why did the Armadyl godsword penetrated full Bandos? Because the AGS went up its tassets

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Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

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Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

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Why did the dog stop barking. It was given a good reason to.

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Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

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what do you call a joke that makes no sense? a joke that makes no sense

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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