i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

thumb_up thumb_down +23

how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So everything, the chat we had before was all you know, a game so I would call you? I am not sleepy but I can wait until you can confirm everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Boys have swag, real men have class

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

thumb_up thumb_down +21

69

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the black kid die? He had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops