Q: How do you make babies cry? A: Throw a brick at it's face.

my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

Philosoraptor, turds IM A SPAMBOTz B=Not really, just blind.

Roses are red Violets are blue I've tested positive for herpes We probably shouldn't have intercourse

whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

If at first you dont succeed..... your not chuck norriss

whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

A man walks into a bar. Then he buys a beer.

Shush girl, shut your lips do the Helen Keller and advocate the rights the disabled.

me and joey are going to watch the football game, at this point you relize you shouldn't hang out with joey and the other guy because it is joey and I not me and joey

What's Big and Round? My Testicular Cancer

whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

Microwave

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin get in the car.

What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

There once was a woman from Ealing, Who had a peculiar feeling She went to the doctors and was consequently diagnosed with Chlamydia

What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

GONNA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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