One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

Q: What's the capital of Ohio A: O

How do you drown a fish? You don't...

This is in Spanish when you're not looking.Just kidding, that's not possible. It's actually German.

Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

Why do I hate food? I don't.

Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

What hapenz when u drnk very hot cup of tea after lunch ............:-> nothing ... Cup becomes empty

why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

Whats red and bad for your teeth? Bricks

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder from your house and kindly help him down.

A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

What's purple and glows? An electric grape

what did the white man say to the mexican man when the mexican stepped in poop? you have poop on your toe

69

What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas A bike.

Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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