knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

Roses are red. Violets are purple

What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

what did one white man say to the other white man? hello!

A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

What do you say to a black couple that just got married? Congratulations

How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What do you call man who travels on foot? a pedestrian

A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

Leo! Leo get over here before i abuse you. Okay, im going to my whip.

why did the mexican stab those people? why? he didn't you racist

Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

Why did the car cross the road? Isn't that what cars do?

A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

World's 2 Biggest Lies 1. I have read and agree to the Terms of Service 2. That was my last piece of gum

What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

If you are reading this you will soon suffer a slow and painful blow job... -_-

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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