People just dont care about me, yesterday I got a coconut in my head and... AWWWW thats horrible! Yeah I... So did the coconut make it?

The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

whats white and big and white? alot of things...

How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

Like this joke, bitch.

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

why did Helen Keller cross the road? she didn't, she wasn't able to find it

Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

What's worse than the holocaust? Another holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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