-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

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Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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you suck

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What can make you pee? Liquid

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for x-mas a bike

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So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

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Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

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Q: What's the hardest part about throwing a baby down the stairs? A: My dick.

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Yo' momma's so black, I hope she didn't experience any racism growing up in school.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a black Decepticon? Niggatron. What Pokemon is black? Niggachu. What lives in the sewers, eats pizza and is black? Teenage Mutant Nigga Turtles. What is Disney's most racist children's book? Winnie the Pooh and Nigger Too.

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What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

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Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops