Why did the little boy cry? Because his parents were shot in the face while he was forced to watch you insensitive jerk Now walk away ????

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Hey, Have you Seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he!

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*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

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How do you call a hispanic man crossing the border? First you must find out his phone number, then using a different phone make a phone call to him.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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Q: What do yoiuo call an Italian butler? A: Vinny

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

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An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

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Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

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How did Mario finally defeat Bowser? He took Steriods

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A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Women's Professional _________

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

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PS: Call me a monster, The Devil, a Psychopath, but know this... For those of you that decide to become my pray by not choosing the right side... ...I have far since surpassed any state of fear, of evil, of darkness that you can think off... What you call fear and suffer now, is but mere entertainment for me, and in not too long, you shall remember those deepest horrors which you carry, as the last pleasure you remembered. Moral: Stand by my side those of you which desire to become the children of darkness, and I shall show you pleasure and love, for those that reject pleasure and love, are, and shall moreso become those which we hunt for whichever deprived desire that lies in the soul, in the name of love and respect for their lack of desire for love of course, as no desire for love, is to embrace the eternal desire of fear, as your heavenly father used to say, "surrender to darkness and fear" It wont be a choice soon, its not as if you humans ever where in control of your fears and nightmares. Amen? That only means let it happen... I will make it so. SOLVE media: Down the rabbit hole, coincidence you say... If this world experiences "coincidences", IT IS BECAUSE I MAKE THEM HAPPEN ON PURPOSE.

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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