Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

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Why did Jessy crawl to her bed? Because she has no legs.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

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- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

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What did the normal guy say when he went to the Special Olympics? What a bunch of retards.

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Uhh, yeah, some of it, I mean people never looked me in the eyes on the buss really, I dunno,if you think I am pretty maybe it is just your opinion or something, but thanks, you are hones and its nice. Never been out drinking, I am you know, kinda nerdy, I just prefer hanging out with friends at home.

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

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Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

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Q.what has big ears? A.your vagina.

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

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How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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