Man 1: Is your refrigerator running? Man 2: Nope, broke last week.

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So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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Your mom is so fat that she has high cholesterol. Moral: I AM NOT CRAZY! Said the man to the dog.

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

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Why did the girl throw her watch out of the window? because her mind wasn't as intelligent as a normals person mind as she had mental problems.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

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why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

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Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

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Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

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Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

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What did the black guy say to the slave driver. Nothing, slavery no longer exists.

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What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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how do you finish a 30000 piece puzzle you search for cheat codes

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Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

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oh, you have a baby on board? I'll just drive into the the car next to you...

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Knock knock! Why didn't you use the doorbell?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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