When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

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Dude, i know this guy, who knew this guy named Ben, who knew this guy named Valen, who knew this guy named Chad and he said.... Ben's Dead.

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

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whats a joke

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Your mamma's so fat she has been called morbitally obese

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God

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Why did billy fall off the sea-saw Because he got kicked in the throat

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

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drew edminstin is a rat

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Did you hear about the sick juggler? Turns out he had cancer on his brain tumour.

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Adam Chebali has no life

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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why did the blond have a broken nose? because she was brutaly beaten by five rapists when she refused to have sex with them.

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Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

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What do you call a black man in jail Your dad

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Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

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Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

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Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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