While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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the holocaust

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

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What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

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A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

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Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

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Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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A sloth walked into the dentists he was confused

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why was the couple in the waiting room crying? Because their son was diagnosed of AIDS and will probably not live into his twenties.

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ted. Come in.

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

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What is the difference between John and John Nothing

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Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops