How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

What did the fat kid get for chirstmas? diabetes

I have an erection My mom!

Why was the boy sad? Because He had a frog stapled to his face

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

The Earth is a nice place to live.

Jimmy has nine bags of sugar. He eats nine bags of sugar. What doeshe have now? Diabetes

What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

what is white and sticky a stick from a birch tree

What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

Q: What's better than the Call Me Maybe video? A: A shot-for-shot parody of it featuring a GIMP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxnAITCv5o

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is ur chest as flat as ur back?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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