What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

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Q: John eats 50 cany bars, eats 45, how many does he have now? A: Diabetes

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Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

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A baby seal walks into a club. He is immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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-Children! Come inside! -Why? -We are going out...

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What did the Republican say after he got off the ferris wheel but before he went on the roller coaster? "Boy, that ferris wheel sure was fun! Now I will ride the roller coaster!"

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A: knock knock B: the door is open, why don't you come right in?

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My friend and I were telling jokes the other day. Ha said " I've run out of dead baby jokes!" to which I replied " I've run out of dead babies."

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Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the other Albino cross the road? He was running away from a witch doctor who was going to brutally murder him and steal his body parts.

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

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There's my tractor.

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Why did the girl kill herself? Because she was brutally raped

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Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?

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Nick Cannon

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Liverpool City Football Club

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A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

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What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

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2 nuns in the bath, One says "wears the soap" the other says "Over there, next to the shampoo"

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What did the prostitute say to the pimp? Can I have $50? She was found three minutes later beaten to death with a purple cane, and had many imprssions of rings in her skull

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One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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