What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farm was sold and he had no other place to go.

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What's red, fast, and flies through the air? A tomato in a plane.

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How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

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Why couldn't Suzie ride the swings? She got hit by a refrigerator.

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Can i have a Ice Cream Kuhn?

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

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What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

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What do you get if you cross an angle with an antelope? An anglelope.

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If you dont see banners here it does mean they are not here. P.S Advertising helps fill our pockets and annoy you. Please be understanding in the fact that we will permaban you while grinning if you refuse to UNDER-stand our rule.

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A man had sex with his secretary. She was his wife.

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How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

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What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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"When there's something srange, in your neighborhood... who you gonna call..?" The cops

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops