Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why didn't Jane cross the road? A: Because Jane is a figment of my imagination and therefore has neither the physical capability to cross this so called "road" nor the initiatory motivation to do so...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -11

. . I am a whale

thumb_up thumb_down -11

i like my woman how i like my coffe... without d i c k s

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How does Moses make his Tea? Hebrews it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many jews can you fit into an ash-tray? none because the volume of a human is much greater than an any ash-tray

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops