How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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c-? men, C-men

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What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

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Why was little Jessica missing?? She was stuck in the freezer.

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Why did the chicken cros- oh he got hit by a car.

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Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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What did the blonde say when she was asked what color her hair was ? Blonde.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Q: why did the boy fall down when he was walking home? A: he was murdered.

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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Why was the little boy speechless? His best friend was just run over by a plow truck.

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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what did the blind orphan with no legs get for christmas? cancer.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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I am very humble.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the side of the road? A: To get to the other vagina

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kushagra tyagi

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Shape like a book, have papers like a book, have a cover like a book, and could be read like a book. But it's not a book, what is it? A dictionary

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Oh s***

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops