A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

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Q: What do you call a blonde, a brunette, and a red head all who are 16 years old and standing in a school? A: High School Students

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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Why does beonce say to the left, to the left. she doesnt she sings it.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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What would Steve Jobs be doing today if he were alive? Dying.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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What happens when you go from a jew to a penguin? A huge climate change.

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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Geeks have girlfriends...................... . . . I MEAN alien friends (geeks are losers and you decide your a geek or not)

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

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A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

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Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

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Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

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Women's rights.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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