Josh Brown loved coressing his mums doodle at night.

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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Homonyms should be band.

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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What do you do when you see a person sleeping at a bus stop? You fart on their head

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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why are black people scared of chain saws? because it goes runnigganigganiggarunnigganigganigga

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whats worse than having that Holocaust joke be the best anti-joke for months? Windows updates

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in china a dog was being cooked on the grill he was seasoned ans eaten by a black man

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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What did one wardrobe say to another wardrobe? Clothes.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

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A jew, a homosexuel and a black guy are on a plane. It crashes and they all die in horrible circumstances.

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

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Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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