Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Q: What did the pope say to the prostitute he passed in the street? A: Bath & Bodyworks are having a sale

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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What happens if someones forgets to put the 'anti' next to 'joke.' It is taken by someone else and created into an anti Joke.

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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Q.) What did the boy do when he got home? A.) He repeatedly cried due to the large amount of bullying he faced at school. He had constantly tried to contact his parents and teachers for help yet no one would listen. The boy was found dead in his room the next day. Poor kid.

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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