So a Jewish man walks into a bar, You think Jesus being all knowing would have realized it was there.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't make sense Your cute

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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GIVE

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

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Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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