Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

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go stand in a mirror look at your face that is the joke. 8- now go tell someone you will tell them a joke and do that to them this will be a fast spreading joke. jkjk this joke is so bad everybody give this alot of bad thums. ha ha i do not care

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

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SNAPPLE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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