Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

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why do holocasut jokes make us laugh? i dont know you tell me

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your moms fat. she's ugly too.

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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