What's the difference between shoes and a ginger? Shoes do the kicking.

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

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What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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Dislike this!!!!!!

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

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''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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