Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

A man walks into a bar, he is immediately rushed to the emergency room

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

Why did the black man fall off the bicycle? He was shot at close range by one of a gang of young white males. This horrific violence was most likely fueled by racial prejudice. Our thoughts go out to the young man's family and friends.

187

A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Their names, if you know them. If not just say "excuse me"

How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

A women go hit by a car, what everyone woners though, how did the car get in between the bedroom and the kitchen?

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

Cole is "good" at soccer

guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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