What do you call a guy who has sex with kids? A child molester

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When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

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What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding your babies head in a microwave

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A: Knock knock! B: A: Guess no one's home.

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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