A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +47

what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

An irishman walks out of a pub

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Caitlyn.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

thumb_up thumb_down -19

oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops