Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -39

umm idk what joke to write down so yea and so rate this a thumbs up! okay bc this is an awesome joke...right right right yea ik!

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops