What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

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Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

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*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

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What's the hardest thing about eating a quadriplegic? The wheelchair.

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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My name is Jeff

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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What's the difference between a baby and an egg? One is fun to throw at houses and the other is an egg.

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what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

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How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

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If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? no, but it was home to several endangered species that are now extinct

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops