What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 had a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

im not food

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Jimmy clenches his fist, a crack his heard. Jimmy begins to cry knowing his arthritis has gotten worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

thumb_up thumb_down -21

-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Guns don't kill people; high speed bullets and sharp projectiles launched at high speeds usually inflict painful and possibly fatal wounds that may kill someone. That someone loves and is loved by others.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down -21

One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

how do you get 20 people in a mini? open the door would be a good start but i dont think they will all fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

thumb_up thumb_down -21

24

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops