What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

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Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

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What if I told you.....potatoe

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

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Fucked thinking zero out of sub level -1 I hate Black Mexican Jews Born in China! But that does not make me a racist! I insist I am not a racist, there exists only two of them and they are both assholes... ...Or is that racist? :S NeroMetal: The ONLY Moralman aka the most pointless man in history not the "leader of Neronist whatever fuck I raped and killed that Faqq0t murderer, no fucking "Church Of Nero" There is no code embedded here... ...Or is that racist?:S

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School

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Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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Q: What did the blind deaf orphan get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man. The mexican got his arms shot off in the war and is severely paralyzed. God Bless our troops. Thank you for serving us.

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whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? being wrongly accussed of a crime you didnt commit because of your race, and being put on death row

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Why do so many Koreans go to medical school? Practicing medicine is a rewarding and respected career.

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Women's rights

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What did the zombie eat for breakfast? You. You fell a-sleep

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why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

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Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

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How do you make a clown happy? You sucks it's dick

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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