A woman walks into a bar and asks for a duck. The bartender is confused, assumes the women has some sort of mental problem, and treats her nicely, as his sister suffers from Down's Syndrome.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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The WNBA.

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

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How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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Why is motorboating so much fun? Because they are unmatched for their speed and agility in the water.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? Can you speak up? I cant hear you!

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How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

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A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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