How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

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roses are red, violets are blue, niggers are black and so is my poo

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anti joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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knock knock whose there tim tim who just kidding its fred

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

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A black guy and a mexican guy are falling from a building. Which one hits the ground first? Who cares

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

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What did the prostitute say to the pimp? Can I have $50? She was found three minutes later beaten to death with a purple cane, and had many imprssions of rings in her skull

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A Coffin.

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What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

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Why did the boy go to his room? Because his father told him to.

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What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

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a man walks into a bar and it hurts

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A black man walks into a... nevermind, this joke is dumb.

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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