Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

A black guy and a mexican guy are falling from a building. Which one hits the ground first? Who cares

Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

When is a clown happy? At a child's birthday party.

Did you here about the man who dropped a glass? It broke.

Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

What happens when a black man is alone the KKK appears

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

If a small quiz is a quizicle then what is a small test? A quiz.

What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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