knock knock no ones home

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What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

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I just lied when I clicked the 'I have read and agree to the Terms of Service' to post this when in fact, I didn't read it at all.

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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Yo Momma's so fat......... that she should probably start eating healthy and exercising more regularly or else she may be at risk of developing heart disease or diabetes

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

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whos district champs not JM

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Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

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What's the difference between a black man and a park seat? A park seat can support a family

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What computer sings the best? A Dell? No a Mac, because they are the superior computer.

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What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

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What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

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Q Whats Yellow, Has a body, And has a Spiky head ? A a pineapple

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What smells like dead rats? Dead hamsters

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen Property.

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whats white and sticky glue

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An irish man walks out of a bar

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Lil Wayne's rapping career

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Who is it?

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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