Q. what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. nothing you done told her twice already

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How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

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what is the ??? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

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hello

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WILLY

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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A blind man walks into a bar. But he wasn't hurt badly and continued on his way.

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why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

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25

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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A bus with 11 passengers is making its final stops for the night. At main street it drops of 6 people and picks up 2, at broad it drops of 3 and picks up 4, at 3rd street it drops of 5 and picks up 1, and finally at 6th street it drops off 4 and picks up 0. How many people are still on the bus? 13 if you include the dead bodies in the back

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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what's more fun then stapling a dead baby to a fence? ripping it off

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops