Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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I wish you were never born. Me too. Then I wouldn't have been raped today.

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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why did the kid let go of his kite? He got struck by lightning

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do you wanna hear a joke school

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Q. Why is the road black? A. One hundred million dollars!

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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What if I told you.....potatoe

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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