Brians mother always told him to reach for the stars. He died the next morning.

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Vaginal secretions

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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what do you call a person who rides a bike a lot? BATMAN!!! -s.s

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how much could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? it doesnt matter because they can not chuck wood

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Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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It's long!

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Q: Whats the worst thing to drop in a prison shower? A: An exploding nail gun

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What happened to that guy who fell? He died from car accident 3 days later.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

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What do you call a black kid with a backpack? I don't know.

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What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

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why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

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Sometimes I sit in the bath and pretend im a bubble

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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