Q: What's the difference between a child dressing as a ghost for Halloween and a real ghost? A: About a tablespoon of arsenic.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

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roses are red, violets are blue, niggers are black and so is my poo

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

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A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? The police, your family were killed in a bakery A German bakery.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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Why was the couple in the waiting room crying? Because their son was diagnosed of AIDS and will probably not live into his twenties.

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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What is the Hardest part of helping a grandma who has having trouble crossing the road? Picking the gravel out of the wrinkles in her knees.

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No soap radio

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Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of excess velocity.

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If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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